Two Against The Power Of Three
by kt-and-steph
Summary: It's baaaaaaack. Yep, Steph finally decided to update. *ahem* KT dun bad. And Steph got even. Oh how she got even with KT. Oh how she got even with... everyone.
1. The Bust (Not That Kind Of Bust, Sickos)

Characters may or may not be similar to real life. STEPH - that's so we don't insult each other!  
  
This is KT here - I, without the permission of my humble soon-to-be writing companion the almighty Stephanie18 have decided (or I have, anyway) to collaberate on quite possibly the worst, no, scratch that, BEST fanfic ever. EVER I TELL YA! So hopefully, after I tell her the email address (which I know she'll greatly appreciate) and password (which she'll also love) then we will have a joint account on fanfiction. Exciting, non? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO??? I KEEL YOU!  
  
So without further ado, I present to you...  
  
Two Against The Power Of Three  
  
by kaytee83 & stephanie18. Oh, and what do you mean it's got a crap title? I KEEL YOU! Let's take that from the top, shall we?  
  
Two Against The Power Of Three  
  
  
KT sat silently, twiddling her thumbs. She looked slightly stupid.  
"I do not look stupid!" she shouted at no one in particular.  
Stephanie came over and smacked KT around for a while. "You stupid idiot!" she whispered angrily, "They'll hear us!"  
KT instantly silenced herself. Thank god, that idiot was p*ssing me off!  
The two demons were currently sitting outside one 'f*ck-off pink mansion'. They had had a plan, but Stephanie had decided it was cr*p so had eaten it. They had no idea what to do.  
"I have no idea what to do." KT said nonchalantly. Idium. She looked at Stephanie. *Why do I even hang about with this buffoon?* she thought to herself, *I could do so much better alone*  
It happened to be at that moment that Stephanie suddenly became telepathic and heard everything KT thought. She lunged at KT and grabbed her by the throat.  
"Look... um... I haven't thought up a stoopid nickname for you yet but assume that I just said it," Stephanie regained herself, "don't go thinking when you're near me, cos my telepathy comes and goes, and-"  
"Look out!" KT randomly cried.  
Stephanie ducked out of the way, dropping KT who landed on her candy ass. Breathing raggedly, Steph looked for the danger that KT had warned her of.   
"What was it?" she demanded urgently.  
KT stared at her blankly.  
"What was what?" KT smiled that smile that indicated there was nothing there.  
"Gah you idiot! Let's just get on with this thing!"  
"Well, maybe we would, if SOMEONE hadn't eaten the plan!" They continued bickering for some minutes, the suddenly Stephanie kicked KT. It was comical.  
"Let's just go." she said animatedly, and stomped off around to the front of the house.  
"Fine" KT said huffily before launching herself through the window she was standing at.  
  
* * *  
  
Stephanie heard the scream and knew what had happened immediately.   
"That idiot KT," she prattled on, "does she not know how to use the front door?"  
Steph rang the bell ferociously. Well, about as ferociously as you can ring a bell, anyway.  
A dark haired girl answered it.   
"Um, hi," the girl said anxiously, "I'm really sorry, I'm sure whatever you're selling is fantastic, but we have a bit of a situation in here - a demon just broke in."  
"You're wrong," Stephanie grinned charismatically, "it's actually two!" and she shoved her way in, dragging the poor girl in with her, smirking at her cries of:  
"But you didn't break in, you waltzed in through the front doooooooooor!"  
Then Stephanie was suddenly intercepted by a woman, who squinted at her viciously. "Let her go," the woman commanded, before waving her hand at Steph, who promptly flew through the air and into the wall.   
"Steph!" KT yelled, bursting into the room and jumping on Prue's back, forcing them down in a vicious struggle.   
"Prue!" the girl who had answered the door cried, "they won't freeze!"  
Prue knocked KT off, and replied. "Have you actually tried to freeze them yet?"  
Piper looked like she'd solved the mystery of the bermuda triangle. "Oh yeah!" she said, before flicking her hands up.  
Instantly, KT and Steph stopped moving.  
Prue stood up. "Thanks, Piper, though I had it completely under control."  
"Oh, you so did not-" Piper started, but Prue cut in.  
"Do not f*ck with me, Panpipes! If I say I was fine, than I was fine, okay?"  
She smacked Piper, who cowered more than slightly in front of her.  
"Okay, Prue, I'm sorry. You're the queen. But now what do we do with them?"  
  
  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The ball's in your court, Steph! 


	2. Lots Of Squinting

Well, continuing on from where KT has hilariously left off...  
  
  
  
Prue squinted (but what else is new, ay?) at the frozen forms of KT and Stephanie. Then she rubbed her chin in that way people do to show they are thinking of a plan.  
"What are we going to do with them? Why, I'll tell you what we're going to do with them."  
Piper waited patiently (well, not really, but she had to look patient because otherwise Prue would've hit her...again...where was I? Oh drat, let's just start over). Piper waited patiently for Prue to finish. She didn't appear to be finishing any time soon, so...  
"Prue, um, what're we going to do with them?"  
Prue turned to the grandfather clock and began yelling at it in a very loud way.  
"Piper, this is no time for your attitude! I swear, I've been taking you with a grain of salt and I frankly don't like you! Go stare at a wall or something like that! Grrrrrr!"  
Concerned in a not-so-really-concerned way that her sister was growling, Piper tapped her on the shoulder.  
"Um, Prue, I'm over here."  
Prue turned from the clock and began to glare at a vase. Piper tapped her again.  
"No, no...this way."  
Prue *finally* turned the right way.  
"Now," Prue said. "What we are going to do with them is this...we're going to put them in the shed."  
"The shed is...kinda full." Piper said.  
"Full? How can it be full?" Prue asked.  
"Well, the cast of Beverly Hills kind of filled it up." Piper told her.  
At that moment, Phoebe came bounding down the stairs...and tripped on her own wooly pink hat. But it's lucky (well, I dunno about lucky...) that she had on her speshical helmet that protected her precious (ha!) head from harm.  
"I'm okay!" She chirped (I hate when it when she chirps, die chirper!) and got up from the floor. Prue made a disappointed sound at the wall, then Piper pointed her in the right direction (if you wanted to call Phoebe's the "right" direction). Prue then growled (again) and said angrily:  
"I thought I had buried your body in the wall!" 


	3. Um... chapter three?

It's KT's turn!  
  
Chapter... wait a sec... (goes off into corner and counts on fingers. comes back) three! Chapter three!  
  
Stephanie finally jerked awake. "I'll get you, you big squinting... hey where'd Squint go?"  
KT was sitting on the floor. "Huh?" she looked up. "Oh you finally unfroze! Talk about weakling! I was fine ages ago! I take it by 'Squint' you mean Prue."  
Stephanie nodded. How come KT knew everything that was going on?  
"Well," KT continued, "Piper froze us with her power, and they moved us into... here."  
Stephanie looked around. "And where, exactly, is here?"  
The room they were in was dark and spacious. Loads of junk was littered about and there was a large window which had been broken, much like someone had jumped through it. There was a heavy book lying on a podium at the far side. Randomly it dawned on Steph.  
"Oh! We're in the attic! I remember last time I was here I jumped through the wondow!" she cried.  
"Explains the general broken...ness of it," KT noted, then asked "is that the Book Of Shadows? Why the hell would they put us up here?"  
The two little mental demons went over to explore the pages of the book, wondering why the Charmed Ones had chucked them into the demon heaven.  
  
* * *  
  
Which was exactly the same as what Piper and Phoebe (who had since come home from her work at that brothel type thing) were wondering.  
"Prue, I just don't get it!" Piper started, "I mean, I understand how we couldn't put them in the shed since it turns out we don't actually have one..."  
Both she and Prue turned to glare at Phoebe.  
"What?" Phoebe protested, "That's where I genuinely thought Prue stashed the bodies. It didn't occur to me that we didn't have one. She distinctly said 'moor shed'. Now I don't know what 'moor' means but-"  
Prue bitch-slapped the idium. "I didn't say 'moor shed', idiot, I said 'your bed'!"  
Phoebe looked confused. "I don't have a bed..."  
Prue shrugged. "You bed, Piper's bed, same difference."  
Piper and Phoebe shared a knowing smile.   
Leo orbed in. "Have you captured KT and Stephanie?"  
Prue blinked. "Who?"  
"KT and Steph - two demons rumoured to have crashed this place a few hours ago."  
Phoebe grinned stupidly. "Oh THOSE demons!"  
Piper smacked Phoebe over the head with a telephone.   
"Owie! Yes, yes!"  
Leo seemed to look even more anxious. "And you DID vanquish them, right?"  
Prue shifted her weight. It was a struggle. "Um... well, I thought they'd make rather, um, attractive pets..."  
"Prue!"  
"Hey don't just blame me! Piper and Phoebe wanted it too!"  
Piper and Phoebe made faces like they had no idea what Prue was talking about. Prue smacked the both of them with one single back hand! Way to go... wait - I'm not gonna finish this sentence. Phew!  
"Prue, Phoebe, Piper," Leo began.  
"Hey why did you say 'Piper' last!" Piper wailed, but Leo ignored her.  
"KT and Stephanie are quite possibly the most clever and dangerous demons in the history of the world ever."  
There was a stunned silence as this news reverberated through the thick skulls of the Charmed Ones. Then Leo slapped his forehead.  
"Wait, sorry," he began again, "I mean this: KT and Stephanie are quite possilbly the STUPIDEST and most NON-DANGEROUS demons in the history of the world ever. Actually, why did I even orb in?"  
Leo orbed out. Piper looked like she wanted to kill Leo.  
"I wanna kill him," she snarled. You know, Phoebe should take a tip from Piper - Piper ALWAYS complies with what the author says, whereas Phoebe always goes out of her dumbassed way to do exactly the opposite of what I say. Like this, for example.  
Phoebe had immense feelings of hatred towards Prue. She really wanted to grab a knife and jam it down Prue's throat.  
"I love you Prue" Phoebe announced, wrapping Prue in a bear hug. GAH! Phoebe!! See what I mean, readers?  
"Yech, get off!" Prue spat and threw Pixie, I mean, Phoebe off.  
There was a 'clunk' coming from up in the attic.  
"Oh, forgot about those stoopid demons!" Piper squealed and they all skipped upstairs.  
  
* * *  
  
"You pick it up."  
"No, YOU pick it up!"  
"You."  
"You!"  
Stephanie kicked KT in the spleen.  
"Okay, okay," KT submitted, "I'll get it." She reached down to grab the BOS but received a very large electric shock. Leaping back, she attempted to flatted her zig-zag hair. "I KNEW that would happen!" she glared at Stephanie.  
"Me too," Steph shrugged, "but I knew it would be funny."  
KT punched Stephanie then ran away before Steph could get her back.  
Suddenly the door burst open and the three sisters charged in, greeted by outbursts of laughter from KT and Stephanie.  
"I see what you mean," KT giggled, "when you said they were so short you couldn't take them seriously!"  
In her anger, Piper blew KT up.   
Stephanie looked shocked and frightened. The Charmed Ones closed in. "Uh.." she faltered, "pie, anyone?"  
Prue's eyes lit up at the prospect of pie, but a sharp nudge from Phoebe reminded her that her sisters would laugh at her if she said yes. So instead, to make herself feel better, she TK'd Steohanie into the wall.   
Stephanie was knocked unconscious. Jeez these two are useless.  
Prue was taken by surprise when KT jumped on her back and was given a hazardous piggy-back ride around the room as Prue tried to shake her off. They ended up crashing into Phoebe, knocking both Prue and Phoebe unconsious.  
KT dusted off her hands and turned to face Piper, who now that she had been carelessly abandoned began to whimper.   
"I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget." KT said menacingly, advancing on the terrifed Halliwell.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dun dun duuuuun!  
I just realised this chapter is stupendouly long! So for the boredom you received!  
KT. 


	4. The shed was a myth? (or something like...

Chapter four! I, unlike KT, don't need to count on my fingers. *pushes calculator out of sight*  
  
  
  
  
"A lesson I'll never forget?" Piper repeated.  
"Oh yes." KT said threateningly and advanced even more. But as she did, she tripped over Piper's foot and landed on her face.  
"Aspirin. Aspirin." Stephanie groaned as she became conscious.  
"Let me just get that for you." Piper said and scampered from the attic.  
"Did she just leave two evil demons alone with her unconscious sisters?" Stephanie asked.  
"No, she just left two complete idiots with her sisters." A voice from...the doorway said.  
KT and Stephanie turned, expecting to see the worst (which happens to be two Phoebes) but they only saw Cole.  
"Oh, it's you, is it?" KT asked and pulled herself up from the floor.  
"We thought it was going to be someone scary or something." Stephanie said and stood up. "Not the poster boy for undecided lifestyles."  
"What are you implying?" Cole asked.  
"Am I good? Am I bad? What am I? And what are these mysterious feelings I have for Leo?" Stephanie mocked. KT snickered. Snickers? Mmmmmm. Huh? Oh...  
"That's...well, okay, some of that is true, but still!" Cole said huffily.  
"So, do you want to fight us or something? Or would it be better for you to put on Phoebe's unmentionables and dance in front of the mirror?" KT asked. Cole said nothing and shimmered out.  
"Well, that got rid of him." Stephanie said and pointed to the unconscious Prue and Piper. "But what about those ding-dongs?"  
KT stared at the two useless sisters and pondered. Pondered is a fun word. Like scampered.  
  
* * *  
  
A few minutes later, KT and Stephanie were dragging Prue and Phoebe to the backyard.  
"How much longer do I have to carry this cow?" Stephanie asked as she dragged Phoebe along.  
"Until we reach the shed." KT told her.  
"I don't see any shed." Stephanie said and looked around the yard.  
"The shed was a myth? Drat! I knew any demon named Belthazor couldn't be trusted." KT said.  
"It doesn't matter, anyway." Stephanie said. "I heard that Belthazor was a little...ya know..."  
The two evils glance up at Phoebe's (or Piper's, depending on the day) window and saw Cole dance past in some unmentionables. They glanced at each other then decided they needed a new plan. 


	5. Piper Finally Gets Taught That Goshdarn ...

So there they were: two little wench-vixen demons, dragging two unconscious idiums (KT, unfortunately had been lumbered with Prue, poor kid).  
Stephanie suddenly got an idea, and threw Phoebe onto KT, who staggered about almost-but-not-quite falling over over the weight of the two bitc- I mean, witches. Then she forgot what her idea was, but still let KT carry the two stoopid ladies.   
"Hey Steph," KT gasped under the general heaviness, "you wanna... hook up... with... Leo... and Cole...?"  
Stephanie thought this was a great idea, and showed it by jumping about whooping with a big brick on her shoulder. Weird.  
Panting, KT realised she couldn't take it anymore and dropped both Prue and Phoebe on their candy asses, before running into the f*ck-off pink mansion, abandoning Stephanie to drag them back inside and guard them.  
KT rushed into the living room where Piper was watching TV.   
"What're you watching?" KT asled.  
"Guh! Charmeded!" Piper snapped, before attempting to blow up and instead hitting Prue's $1,000,000 camera equipment. "No problemo," she said, shoving the destroyed equipment into KT's arms.  
KT looked horrified, "No way! Prue'd kick my candy ass and you know it Panpipes!" She dropped the stuff onto the table. "Besides," she added, "I still gotta teach you that lesson.  
Piper looked more than scared.  
  
* * *  
  
With one last heavily-unattractive grunt, Stephanie hauled the two crappest sisters back into the manor. She left them in precariously uncomfortable and damaging-looking positions, and went to look for some 'Lucky Charmeds', the Charmed One's custom-made cereal. She heard voices from the living room, so went through to see what was going on.  
  
"And the fifth rule of metaphysics- oh. Hello, Stephanie," KT abruptly stopped her lesson for Piper to greet her amigo. "I was just teaching Piper a lesson."  
"So I see," Stephanie replied coldly, "and I guess part of that lesson is to leave your partners outside on a freezing day with the two dumbest idiums in the world?"  
Piper interjected with, "Actually, according to 'Them', YOU two are the dumbest idiums." It didn't help. Thanks Piper!  
KT and Steph left the room to settle their differences, and also to hook up with Leo and Cole, which they did!  
  
Sneakily, Piper padded into the kitchen and began work on reviving her sisters, encouraging them to wake up with such phrases as "Come on, I love you," and "Wake the f*ck up! KT's trying to teach me science!"  
She didn't hear the noises coming from upstairs. Thank god, that woulda been embarrassing!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey Steph, I'm having fun at the Charmed One's f*ck-off pink mansion, especially right now! 


	6. Broom War 2002

Piper sat on the floor with face paint and a head dress on her head.  
"That was fun, but now what?"  
You thought it was for some sort of spiritual solution to waking her sisters, didn't you?  
"Where are they? I'll hurt them very badly."  
Piper turned and saw Prue sitting up, hugging the broom.  
"Piper, I was so worried, in that way when you're not really worried, but act it anyway."  
"Um, Prue, that's the broom."  
Prue (not happy about being corrected) hit Piper over the head with the broom. Piper then got an idea.  
  
* * *  
  
Somewhere else in the house...  
"Well, that was fun!" KT said cheerily and slapped Stephanie on the shoulder. "Where's Leo?"  
"I didn't kill him and put his body under Phoebe's bed." Stephanie said quickly. KT just looked at her.  
"Right. Well, we should probably go and kill the Charmed Ones."  
"Or we could rob them."  
KT thought over Stephanie's suggestion.  
"Hmmmm...okay, we'll do that, but then we really have to kill them."  
  
* * *  
  
"Hit her again."  
Piper smashed the broom down on Phoebe's face again. "WAKE UP!"  
"Once more."  
Piper decided that the brain damage was already severe, so there could be no more harm...*SMASH*  
"I'm awake!" Phoebe gasped.  
"I don't know." Prue said. "Maybe you should hit her once more to be sure."  
Piper thought it over, then did. Phoebe was slightly miffed, so she took the broom from Piper's hands and hit her with it.  
"Hey!" Piper screamed and grabbed the broom. Then she hit Phoebe. Phoebe scoweled and took the broom, then smashed Piper. Piper became angry and took the broom back, then smashed Phoebe.  
It turned into a very angry broom war. Piper would hit Phoebe, Phoebe would take the broom and hit Piper, then Piper would take the broom and hit Phoebe, then they would repeat the action.  
KT and Stephanie entered the room in the midst of the broom chaos (which was being televised on FOX as "Broom War 2002: The Carnage") and they stood stunned. Then they laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Nobody noticed Prue crawl into the corner and whisper, "Stop. You're ruining my birthday party."  
KT and Stephanie just continued laughing. Then they stopped.  
"Wanna go steal some more stuff?" Stephanie asked. KT thought it over.  
"Yeah, okay, but this is the last time. We're seriously going to defeat them next time we see them." 


	7. I Can't Think Of A Decent Chapter Title,...

It'd been roughly... hell I don't know, actually probably over a week since, either I (KT) could be bothered to... record what's been happ'nin down at the Charmed household or since anything of importance actually happened! But here we are. Back again. Ho hum. Okay, let's get to it!  
  
The broom war was just about over. Depuis (MAN I'm a french prodigy! That means 'since', you goons.) it began with a simple passing of broom from hand to hand and a quick bop over the head, as previously demonstrated by the lovely Piper and the... um... and Phoebe, it had now blown into a full blown, blow by blow blow-fest. Prue was TK'ing brooms all over the place, and it was particularly funny when she had made Phoebe swallow one whole about three days ago. So far, it showed no signs of resurfacing thank god.   
  
KT and Stephanie had also joined in, but broke the rules by hogging brooms all to themselves (as you may remember, you are supposed to bop the person on the head with the broom, let them take it off you and bop YOU on the head, then take it off them and bop THEM on the head, and so on) and were thwacking it onto every available Charmed One. And, of course, each other. KT bopped Piper on the head, then burst into tears cos she couldn't believe she'd hit such a brilliant person.  
  
"I'm sorry, Piper!" she wailed, "forgive me!"  
  
Piper did, but only after she'd bopped KT back about three thousand times.   
  
Stephanie, however, wasn't as pansy-assed as KT and only let Piper bop her one thousand seven hundred and eighty four times after she'd mistakenly bopped the prodigal one (that's Piper, by the way).  
  
And of course Prue didn't care. She too was breaking the rules and not only kept a broom to herself, but actually kept around eighteen brooms and kept TK'ing them into people, mainly Cole and Leo's... special areas. And she even had her Astral Projection at it too!  
  
After a while, on the ninth day of the broom war, Stephanie crept out of the mess and wandered up into the attic, searching for something.  
  
"Oh yeah?" she asked, genuinely interested, "what am I looking for?" AHH Stephanie how dare you be so cheeky to me!  
  
The window randomly opened and in a flurry of author's rage, Steph was blown out. She slammed onto the ground and attempted to get up. She couldn't.  
  
"Not again," she moaned, painfully remembering her last encounter at the Halliwell's House Of Horror, "I'm broked!" she moaned, and it was true. Every part of her was broken. Once again, she wailed - to no one in particular - "I'm broke! Help me!"  
  
Back at the broom war, KT could swear she heard Stephanie crying for help. Oh well! Suddenly, Phoebe screamed "Okay! Enough! I can't take getting bopped on the head and all over any more! I'm out!"   
  
A lightbulb appeared over Prue's head. Cool! New power?   
  
"Well, Phoebe," she said evilly, "I hope you remember the rule."   
  
Phoebe looked terrified. "W-w-what rule?" she stammered.  
  
"The rule that the first person who gives up in the Broom War 2002 has to let each member of said war bop them with the broom at least forty... thousand times."  
  
Everyone descended on Phoebe and began the new "Bop-Fest 2002: The Year Of Phoebe" Even Stephanie managed to drag her broken carcasse in. She couldn't possibly miss this opportunity!  
  
Then it hit KT.   
  
"Ow!" she yelped, "something just hit me!" Oh ha ha, KT, you're so funny. She pulled Stephanie out of the midst of the Bop-Fest. "Stephanie," she whispered urgently, "look - everybody's so busy with bopping Phoebe they've given us a few hours to work out how to destroy the Charmed Ones!"  
  
Stephanie sighed. "Okay, but let me just do one more thing," and she quickly grabbed a broom and smacked everone over the head with it, causing them all to tumble to the ground. Including KT. Who turned out to now be, rather uselessly, unconscious. "Dammit," Stephanie griped, "sometimes I don't know my own obsession with knocking her out!" and she began to drag KT upstairs. 


	8. The Button

Stephanie dragged KT upstairs by her feet (so that her head would bounce off the stairs, which is funny) then dragged her up to the attic.  
  
"Fat piece of - hey, what's that?"  
  
Stephanie skipped over to the window where there was a shiny button floating just outside the window.  
  
"I'm not falling for that again." She said, then glanced at KT's unconscious form. She then got an idea...  
  
* * *  
  
The sisters and the the uselesses (Cole and Leo, o' course) woke up and felt horrible. Maybe it was because they just got beaten up by a crazy broom-wielding psycho idiot demon, or maybe it was...no, it's actually the first reason.  
  
"Man, we got beat so bad!" Cole complained. He was quickly silenced by a sharp frying pan to the forebrain.  
  
"They've humilated us which means we got to vanquish them, 'cause if they get away with it, we would have a really bad public image." Piper said. Phoebe was confused, but what else is new?  
  
"I'm thinking we go into the attic and just start swinging." Prue suggested.  
  
"Last time that happened you and Piper hit me with stuff and let the demon get away..." Phoebe said.  
  
"Yeah, that was a fun day." Piper remembered.  
  
Just then, KT's body went sailing past the window and landed with a *thwack* against the ground. Then a voice:  
  
"I got the button! Using your body as a pulling device worked! KT? Hellooooo? KT? Why're you twitching like that?"  
  
* * *  
  
Stephanie shrugged then shut the window (she didn't want to have another "accident"). Then, button clasped in her hand, walked into the middle of the room and sat on the floor.  
  
The button said, 'Push Me You Idium' so Stephanie did. It was an inanimate object, how could she *not* do what it told her to? 


	9. Consequential, Evidential, This Title Wi...

KABLAMMO!  
Suddenly, the entire f*ck off pink mansion as we know it collapsed, with everyone except that adorable KT inside. Stephanie got a big big big big big spear through her appendix, which was now on the end of said spear.  
  
"Good thing I don't really need it," she said, before realising "hey! Where'd this spear come from and how is it sticking through me?" She couldn't move, she was hella stuck on a big spear and basically, well, like I said, couldn't move. "Why did I have to press the button?"  
  
"You pressed," Piper paused mid sentence as usual cos she can't speak good, "the button?" she was at present pulling herself out from under the pile of rubble. "What kind of fool are you? And what are you doing impaled on that spike?"  
  
"I dunno," said Steph, remembering her current situation of being stuck on a stick, "but it's kinda embarrassing."  
  
Piper looked at her, then walked away, crawling precariously over the remainder of the house.   
  
From over a big stone, Stephanie could see KT, still hella unconcious, on the ground. But Cole was bent over her. He looked like he was trying to wake her up. Stephanie strained her blood-soaked ears to hear what they were saying.   
  
"KT, wake up. Please? I want you bad!"  
  
Stephanie's eyes bulged. 'But I thought Cole was mine!' she thought furiously, and continued to struggle against the spear. And failing. KT was still unconscious, but Leo had joined Cole. Stephanie squinted at them, then realised what she was doing. "Oops! Must be spending too much time with Prue! Speaking of..."  
  
Prue had emerged from the building crap. She surveyed what used to be her mansion which showed off how rich she was. She sighed. Then saw Steph. "Hiya," she said, "nice impalation."  
  
"Hey Prue," Stephanie replied normally. "So your house is buggered. What'cha gonna do?"  
  
Prue looked at her in disdain and sniffed. "Since I'm great, I'll use my powers!" Prue raised her arms above her head. As if by magic (well duh) the house sprang back up into its former f*ck-off-pinkedness. The only thing that was out of place was that the spear remained, therefore Stephanie was still stuck on it.  
  
* * *  
  
KT sprang into consciousness to find all the Charmed Ones, including Paige, which made KT almost go back out again, but the sight of the two guys grinning at her made her stay awake.  
  
"Who... are you?" KT stammered.  
  
Prue smiled. "Aw isn't that cute? She doesn't remember anything!"  
  
"It's called amnesia, idium." Phoebe said. Everyone stared at her.  
  
"Do I know you?" KT asked weakly.  
  
"Yes," Leo said, "you do. And you're a part of our family now. We love you,"  
  
The entire group echoed what people said. KT had no idea who they were, but she'd never felt so accepted in her life. They carried her inside. They walked past Stephanie, as ever still stuck on that spear.  
  
"Hey! Where're you taking her?" Steph screamed at them. She was beginning to hurt a bit. "KT! Come back!"  
  
KT looked at Stephanie lazily. "KT. Is that my name? Do I know her?"  
  
"Of course you know me! I'm your demon-in-command!" Stephanie yelled at her partner. That fall from the window really must have buggered KT's brain!  
  
Phoebe placed a soothing hand on KT's forehead. "Shh. Ignore her. You'll be alright and safe with us now. You're one of us."  
  
They took KT out of the room.  
  
Stephanie gaped at the wall where the Charmed Ones had just stood, carrying her friend. What the buggery was going on? Was KT mental? Retarded? A little of both?   
  
"I don't know what's wrong with my faithful friend," Stephanie said to herself, "but I'm gonna get her back!"  
  
Then she realised she was still impaled on a big stick. 


	10. The One With Angel, But He Dies and KT W...

Stephanie pulled a saw from her pocket (doesn't everyone carry one?) and sawed the spike in half. After she did, she fell back on the bottom of the spike, but this time it was worse cause it was jagged.  
  
"Ah, crud!"  
  
After rolling off of the second spike, she pulled the first one out of her abdomen (I know big words!) and just laid on the ground, bleeding.  
  
After a few minutes (let's say three) she sees a pair of boots next to her head and looks up.  
  
"Oh jeez, are we turning cliché?"  
  
You know who was standing next to her? Angel. No, not *an* angel. *The* Angel; the one from the WB.  
  
"Apparently so, my child." Angel said, then turned his head to the side and had a brooding moment. Stephanie noticed he had on priest clothes.  
  
"Well, that's different." Stephanie said, then rested her head on the ground. "Look, could you maybe go back to your own show and let me die in peace? I mean, maybe if you leave now, we can stop from turning into a completely overdone concept show."  
  
"Fine! I don't even know why I bother with you WB chicks anyway!" Angel said, then he threw down his priest collar and stormed off.  
  
Prue jumped through the window and looked down at the dying Stephanie.  
  
"Did he just call us chicks?" She asked in a blind rage. Uh-oh.  
  
"Uh-huh." Stephanie said. "Hey, while your out here could you maybe get me a band-aid or even a -"  
  
Prue sprinted off down the lawn to tackle and kill Angel. Serves him right.  
  
Stephanie pulled her bleeding self up from the ground, put on a black wig, then craweled through the window Prue had jumped out of. She slumped to the floor and everyone gathered around her.  
  
"Oh no!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Prue, are you...okay?"  
  
"Are you retarded? I'm bleeding to death!" Stephanie screamed.  
  
"Hmmmmm..." Paige said.  
  
"What are you doing here? When did you show up? There can't be four of you." Stephanie pointed out.  
  
"No, there can't, can there?" Cole said, then arched his eyebrow for a dramatic effect. It didn't work. He just seemed creepy.  
  
"I didn't ask to be a witch!" Paige wailed and began to cry. "And you guys can't make me be Prue! I'm not Prue! I'm not her!"  
  
Stephanie rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, we know. You say that stupid speech every five minutes." Stephanie said. Then she mocked her, "'I'm not Prue. Boo-hoo. I'll never be. Oh no.'"  
  
"Yeah, get over yourself already." Leo said.  
  
"Hey, why haven't you healed me? I'm Prue!" Stephanie said.  
  
The dolt - I mean - Leo did. Stephanie laughed then stood up. She threw the wig out the window and laughed some more.  
  
"Ha ha ha ha ha!" That was her laughing some more. Now she'll say, "You idiots! You just healed one of your arch enemies! Now, I'll find KT and we'll defeat you! Seriously."  
  
Paige, feeling suddenly useless, just left. She just walked right out the door, mumbling as she went: "Who needs them? I don't need to be a witch. I can be *normal*. Screw them."  
  
"Oh, but KT is one of us now." Phoebe said. "KT!"  
  
KT walked into the room wearing...  
  
"Oh my God!" Stephanie screamed. "Not...not..."  
  
"Yes." Phoebe said, then laughed evilly. "A...PINK WOOLLY HAT! Ahahahahahaha!"  
  
At that moment, Prue clambered (ooo, cool word) through the smashed window and coughed. She had blood and icky vampire dust all over herself.  
  
"Well, he's cancelled." She said merrily.  
  
Everyone laughed at her pun. He was cancelled. See, it's funny because he has this show, where he's the star, and without him, they would cancel the show. And he's dead, and cancelled is like the same as dying. See? Get it?  
  
But, now what would Stephanie do? She had to get KT back on the side of idiotic evil so they could defeat the Charmed Ones. Seriously. 


	11. KT's Changing Into... One Of Them... NOO...

"Gimme some love! Gimme some skin!" Paige sang/screeched at the top of her voice. God she even sang like a stoopid goth.   
  
Stephanie crept up behind her and bopped her over the head. Unfortunately it wasn't hard enough, and Paige spun around to face her looking incredibly angry.  
  
"Uh oh," Stephanie said, fear creeping into her heart as she realised that - crap as she was - Paige was a force to be reckoned with.  
  
"You're gonna regret that, demon face." Paige said, fuming. "Lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp lamp!" she stopped when she realised that Stephanie had disappeared under a huge pile of lamps which she'd TKOrbed at her.   
  
KT skipped past with her wooly pink hat on. "What is it with you and lamps?" she chirped in that annoying way Phoebe does.  
  
Paige glared at her. Then her face softned. "Actually, KT, you love lamps too!"  
  
KT paused suspiciously and looked from Paige to the lamps to Paige to the lamps to Paige again in a very suspicious manner. "Really?" she said suspiciously. Okay, so I guess she was suspicious!  
  
"Uh huh," Paige said, "and you love nothing more than to beat yourself up too!"  
  
"Well," KT scratched her head, "You are my sister. I guess you know me better than anyone else..." And she began to smash her head off the wall. Paige couldn't stop laughing. Which is what provoked Piper's arrival in the room.  
  
"What's going on I can hear the shrill cackle of a demon!" she barreled into the room. "Oh, it's just Paige," she noted sadly. "I hate her," she added. Then, seeing Paige's immense anger appear on said Paige's face, changed her opinion to "well I only hate her if the word hate means love!" She grinned sheepishly and left the room.  
  
Leo orbed in.  
  
Paige turned to the pile of lamps. "Ai! What am I gonna do with this mess?" There was a brief silence and then a lighbulb appeared over her head.  
  
"Cool!" Leo said, staring at the lightbulb, "New power?" He orbed out.  
  
Paige curled her lip in a very unattractive manner and turned to KT. "This mess. Clean it up. And any demons you happen to find that are breathing... kill them." Paige walked away. Then came back. "Here," she said, adjusting KT's wooly pink hat. "Oh, and this'll complete the look." She shoved a lollipop into KT's mouth. "Do NOT under any circumstances take that out. If I see you without it, the only reason I'll accept for it being gone is: one if you've finished, though in that case you better get another one. And two, someone shoved the existing one down your throat. But in that case, I'll kick you ass. In both cases, I'll kick your ass. Cos I like doing it." She walked away leaving KT sucking and staring helplessly at the huge pile of lamps.  
  
Then she began to throw them left, right and centre. After about ten minutes of pure solid labour, she found a quivering Stephanie.   
  
"KT! Thank god you're... hey what the f*ck is THAT!?!" Steph screamed, seeing the lollipop. "What kind of monstrosity have you become? And quit staring at me like that!" There was a mad kind of glint in KT's eyes that Stephanie had only seen once before. And she couldn't remember when that was. Probably at one of her APPP pep rallies. Anyhoo.  
  
"You're a demon," KT said. "Must... kill... demon..."  
  
And she lunged for her one and only true friend and partner. 


	12. Off With The Hat and Prue Beats Up Paige...

KT, slowly turning into a Halliwell, did what the Halliwells were most likely to do in this situation. She lunged, then tripped over her own feet and fell flat on her face.  
  
"KT!" Stephanie said in a shocked way because she was shocked. "I'm shocked! Don't you know who I am?"  
  
"A demon." KT said and adjusted her pink woolly hat as she stood up.  
  
"Well yes, but I'm also your one and only true friend and partner."  
  
"Oh really?" KT said. "Prove it, if you can!"  
  
"Don't you remember all of the wacky schemes we've pulled?" Stephanie asked. "Like the one time we stole Prue's shoes and she got mad at us and tried to beat us to death with a broom... or the time we took Piper's cursing medicine and she b*tched us out. Man, those times were good, weren't they?"  
  
"Hell no!" Prue exclaimed as she entered the room. "Thanks for reminding me about that, now I can kick your butt again!"  
  
"Wait, no!" Stephanie screamed. Hey, Prue's scary when she's p*ssed. "It wasn't me! It was totally Paige, but she had on a Stephanie-like costume to make you think it was me. So really, Paige was trying to make you look stupid."  
  
Prue thought this over. She slapped Stephanie for good measure, then left the room to give Paige a real what-for.  
  
"Okay, demon," KT said and began to walk forward menacingly. "Prepare to diiiiiiiiie!"  
  
KT was still walking forward menacingly. Ever notice how menacing walks are always slow? I suppose it's to build suspense for the impending thrashing and what-not.  
  
"KT, I'm a demon and you're a demon." Stephanie said. "You need to understand this and become one with the demonyness once again."  
  
"Did you learn that from Piper's guru?"  
  
"No, Piper blew up her guru." Stephanie said.  
  
"Idium." KT said quietly. A lightbulb suddenly appeared over her head.  
  
Leo orbed in. "New power?" Then he orbed out again.  
  
KT threw the woolly hat off her head and began stomping all over it. She then threw the lollipop from her mouth.  
  
At that moment, Paige entered the room. KT's amazing flying lollipop smacked her in the head and it stuck to her forehead. Paige looked up at the lollipop then scowled angrily at KT.  
  
"What did I say?" She screamed.  
  
"Die!" Prue's voice yelled.  
  
A moment later, Prue came racing into the room. She jumped on Paige's back, drug her to the ground, then preceeded to beat the living hell out of her.  
  
"APPP?" KT asked.  
  
"APPP." Stephanie said with a smile. 


	13. Hunger... Strikes!

I apologise for the general crapness of this chapter... Stephanie, it's your difficult task to rectify the damage I have done with this sh*t.  
  
  
  
13. Hunger... Strikes!  
  
So KT and Stephanie were officially friends again - better than ever, in fact!  
  
"I hate you, suck-face! Give me that back!"  
  
"Never, b*tch!"  
  
"Khaaaa!"  
  
"Thaaaa!"  
  
"I don't know why I didn't kill you when I had the chance!"  
  
"Please! Like you could ever take me!"  
  
At that point, KT leapt on Stephanie and they began beating each other in a new war, let's call it the Tustle War 2002. Because I enjoy the word tustle. But straying from the point - as you can see, they were better friends than ever.  
  
"Pass the popcorn, babes," Leo said.  
  
"Babes?" Piper said, well mad. "Babes!?! How dare you you prick!!!" and she jumped on that idium Leo, who tried to defend himself because we all know about Piper's wrath. The couple got quite elaborate in their fighting, and Leo smashed into KT and Stephanie, who got even angrier.   
  
"Kill the witch!" KT screamed.  
  
"Who, me?" Piper said, confused. "I'm not a witch."  
  
Everybody stopped and stared at Piper.  
  
"Um, Piper, sweetie, love of my life?" Phoebe said tentatively, then walked right up to Piper's ear and screamed "YES YOU ARE!"  
  
Piper looked momentarily blank. Then she said "oh yeah!" and slapped Phoebe.  
  
So everyone was involved, except Prue and Paige who were sitting on the sidelines laughing.  
  
"Isn't this amusing?" Prue said.  
  
"Like, totally!" said idiot-face.  
  
They looked at each other and smiled, then realised who it was they were smiling at, edged away from each other and looked away in disgust.  
  
In the midst of the beatings, Stephanie crawled out and wandered through to the kitchen. She was soon joined by KT.  
  
"I'm hungry," KT whined. Stephanie rolled her eyes.   
  
"Right, let's get some grub." she said. She slapped KT who had giggled at the usage of the word 'grub'. She wandered over to the cupboard and got out some Lucky Charms. Oops, I mean, Lucky Charmeds. Squinting at the box, she uttered "huh. These custom made?"  
  
Her musings were brought to screaming alongside KT as she saw the little blue blob which had attacked her partner!  
  
"Hunger strikes!" it yelled and began beating KT with a big... spoon? Okay... but it was still terrifying.  
  
"Help! Help!" Stephanie ran around in circles yelling. She ran into the wall. "Who put that wall there?" she asked, then was grabbed by the shoulders from behind. "Ahhhhh!" she shouted.  
  
"Shut up shut up it's just me!"  
  
Stephanie sighed relief and turned around. "Ahhhhhh!!!" she screamed again.  
  
"Quiet you idiot!" said Prue. Oh, now I understand Steph reaction. "There isn't a wall there!"  
  
A large question mark appeared above Stephanie's head.   
  
"Is that your demonic power?" Prue asked.  
  
Another question mark appeared. Stephanie turned aroun to face the wall she'd crashed into... wait... what wall? Prue was right - there WAS no wall.  
  
"And what the hell's that?" Prue yelled, referring to the Shreddies monster which had beaten KT to unconsciousness.  
  
Stephanie shrugged. "Dunno, but I'm not happy with it being alive."  
  
Prue nodded, and TK'd the blue dood out the window. "Done and done" she said.  
  
Stephanie kicked Prue in the kidney in thanks. Then sighed as she saw the once again unconscious KT on the floor. Prue left and went to kick Paige in. Stephani considered watching, then saw there was a spell on the kitchen table. Curiously, she picked it up.   
  
'How to break the Charmed Ones'.  
  
"Serendipity?" she said. 


	14. We're being burned at the stake... with ...

Stephanie looked at the piece of paper and pursed her lips. Her eyes moved from the paper to her unconscious cohert. Finally, she chuckled and and crumpled the paper.  
  
"I don't listen to inanimate objects anymore." Stephanie said and tossed the paper over her shoulder.  
  
"So, I'm just a nobody to you now?" The toaster shrieked and slapped her.  
  
Stephanie, slightly enraged, picked up the toaster and slammed it down over KT's head.  
  
"Ha! That'll teach you to sass me, toaster!"  
  
Stephanie then turned toward the doorway where Prue, Piper, Phoebe, and Leo were standing with concerned expressions.  
  
"Um, are you feeling okay?" Phoebe asked.  
  
"What? Of course!" Stephanie exclaimed. "Why would you think I'm not?"  
  
"You just told our toaster not to sass you." Piper informed her.  
  
"Yeah, well... where's idiot-face?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"Prue told her to play on the interstate." Piper said. Then added in a low breath, "Idium."  
  
"She's one of them!" Phoebe screeched and pointed at Piper.  
  
Not good.  
  
*****  
  
A few minutes later in the attic, Stephanie, KT, and Piper had been entered into a not-so-good situation. You see, they were about to be human BBQ. Burned at the stake, yes, they were going to be... burned at the stake.  
  
"I'm not one of them!" Piper wailed.  
  
Stephanie rolled her eyes.  
  
"Talking to them is useless." Steph said. "Can't you see they're wearing earmuffs?"  
  
Prue, who was wearing earmuffs as previously stated by the character of Stephanie, nodded with a smile and gave a thumbs-up.  
  
"Keep the gazelles off my lawn!" KT screamed then woke from her unconsciousness. "What the - ahhhh! What's going on?"  
  
"We're being burned at the stake... with Piper." Stephanie said with a sigh.  
  
Prue, Phoebe, and the useless Leo took off their earmuffs. Their ears weren't chilly anymore I guess.  
  
"Piper, why?" Prue said and got teary-eyed. "I thought you were one of us. I mean, I know I chucked you down the stairs quite a lot and belittled every fiber of your being, but... I loved you. You were my sister. Why did you do this? Why are you making this happen?"  
  
"Why, Piper, why?" KT screamed at Piper, teary-eyed.  
  
"I know!" Stephanie exclaimed, tearing up as well. "Why couldn't you be a perfect sister? You made Prue have one of those moments where she is so sad it makes you want to cry! What in the world is the matter with you?"  
  
"Why can't you be a good kid?" KT asked.  
  
"I'm - uh - sorry?" Piper offered.  
  
Prue clapped her hands.  
  
"That's good enough for me!" Prue said... cheerily then used her power and untied Piper.  
  
"Well, I mean, how could you not forgive her?" KT sniffed.  
  
"I dunno." Steph sqeaked.  
  
This was obviously a moment where there would be a hug, so KT and Steph leaned toward each other. Of course, the idiots forgot that they were tied to giant wooden poles and did not hug. They fell to the floor and smacked their heads.  
  
"I hope this doesn't make us Halliwells." KT uttered before she and Stephanie lost consciousness for the umpteenth time. 


	15. Attack of the Horny Lesbium!!!

Chapter 15?  
  
  
  
Fourteen - count 'em - fourteen days later, KT and Stephanie woke up.  
  
They were still lying on the floor, bound to the big poles.   
  
Steph's eyes slowly got wider and wider.   
  
"KT?" she said timidly, "is that... you... touching my leg?"  
  
KT rolled over as much as she could to look at her buddee. "Um, no. Do you want it to be?" she added with a seductive wink.  
  
Stephanie pulled her disgusted eyes off KT's face and uncertainly directed them to her legs. Then she screamed. "Phoebe! Stop humping my leg!" she yelled. KT's face went as white as Paige.  
  
"Oh my god oh my god," she stuttered, "someone! Help! Phoebe's on the rampage! It's a raging lesbium on the loose!" She instantly began to struggle harder than ever against the ropes. "It'd be great if I randomly got a new power right about now," she said hopefully and obviously.   
  
And lo! Did she ever! It was one of those times when the word 'serendipity' doesn't really fit but still is used. KT received a new power.  
  
She shimmered out.  
  
"Aiiii!" Stephanie squealed, "get it off get it off!" Phoebe was holding on tight. Stephanie kicked the big ol lesbium but still it didn't work. "KT! Where'd you go?" she yelled at the wall.  
  
KT shimmered back in. "Check out my new power!" she said gleefully and began shimmering in and out like some shimmer junkie.  
  
Stephanie froze and stared at KT. "Wait a minute..." she mused, "you... we... we could already shimmer. That's not a new power at all!"  
  
"Huh," KT pondered, "must've forgot."  
  
Stephanie shimmered out. Phoebe looked confused, then her gaze shifted to KT with a hungry look.  
  
"Oh no you don't," KT said quicky, before snaffling Phoebe's wooly pink hat and following Stephanie. A disembodied voice, which I'm almost positive was KT's yelled "Shimmertastic!"  
  
* * *  
  
The two idiums - I mean... no, actually I did mean idiums - shimmered into the kitchen.   
  
"After fourteen days of general unconsciousness, I'm hungry!" Stephanie said and began raiding the cupboards. "Hey," she stepped back, frowning, "where's all the grub?"  
  
KT smirked. "You just said the word 'grub'. I won't forget that. Anyhoo. I have two suggestions for the general lack of foodal eateries. Either there is none cos the Charmed Ones are all anorexic hoedowns. Rr this whole f*ck off pink mansion is a set."  
  
"Anorexic, eh?" Stephanie said and rubbed her chin. "Man I need to shave!" she shimmered out.  
  
"You're telling me." KT said, and decided she looked cool with her beard so left it.  
  
"KT!"  
  
KT screamed in shock as she spun around to see Prue squinting at her.   
  
"Ohmygod," she screeched dementedly, and said it like it was one word. "Prue. How long have you been standing there?"  
  
Prue shrugged. "Couple of days, give or take."  
  
KT blinked. "Oh hoh..."  
  
Prue began circling KT staring at her. KT felt incredibly uncomfortable, which I guess is what Prue was trying to achieve. Wow for once she didn't fail!  
  
KT flinched and randomly said "That kid... that kid, is back, on the ESCALATOR!!!"  
  
Prue blinked. "What? You wanna do it in the elevator?"  
  
KT stared. "Prue! Mallrats was seven - count em - seven years ago!" (I like the way I've said this in a different story too) "Get over it!" She picked up a piece of paper that was stuck to Prue's... hair and looked at it.  
  
"How to defeat the Charmed Ones," was the title she read.  
  
Prue snatched it off her. "That's not the spell," she said, indignant, "it's actually called," and she squinted here, "How to make tapioca pudding and pour it down your pants!"  
  
"Really?" KT said. "Huh. I'm sure it said," she grabbed it back, "How to defeat the Charmed Ones. Oh, Prue, it SO does say that! You're just half blind from your squint and can't see good!"  
  
KT ran away.  
  
Prue continued to talk quite normally, as if KT was still there. "What do you mean squint? You know as well as I that I have perfect 634522:0.9 vision. What do you propose I do to proove it?"  
  
* * *  
  
In Piper's bed... room, KT was lying on the bed with the spell. She'd quite taken to hanging about in Piper's bed... room, especially when Piper was...n't there.  
  
"Maybe I should recite this," she mused, "Stephanie may not listen to inatimate objects, but I sure as hell do!"  
  
Stephanie mosied in, clean-shaven. "KT, what da hell are you doing in Piper's bed...room?" she shrieked.  
  
KT looked up, shocked. "I, was... uh..."  
  
A groan was heard from under the duvet. Piper woke up. "What the F*CK!!!" she screamed.  
  
KT and Stephanie exchanged glances. "Uh oh..."  
  
  
* * *  
Go steph!  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
KT COMES UP TO THE... CAMERA.  
  
KT: Jewel-Halliwell is the queen of them all!!! THE QUEEN!!  
  
  
  
  
See? I'm... making it worth your while... aren't I?  
  
Everybody, as no questions about the last bit you just saw. If you ask, you get keeled. 


	16. The Toaster Slaps Phoebe And Some Other ...

KT, you can't hurt for When She Was Evil II, I mean... I - I - well, *stutters, then just plain overreacting* You just can't!  
  
  
  
  
  
So, our heroes were - oh, whoops. Wrong story. *Ahem* So, our idiots were in Piper's bed...room and Piper had just woken up from some sort of unexplained unconsciousness.  
  
"What the freaking... heck." Piper said and stood up. She dusted herself off as people always do when they get up from the ground, even if they aren't dusty at all.  
  
"Heck?" Stephanie repeated.  
  
KT and Steph looked at each other, but held in their giggles because Piper would've hurt them.  
  
"Why did I just wake up from an unexplained unconscious state of being?" Piper asked.  
  
"Well, you see," KT said. "Uh...Phoebe accused you of being one of us then, you're going to think this is simply hilarious, you were almost kinda sorta burned at the stake, but there was some sort of mix-up and... well, hey, it's fourteen days later and we've got no idea what's going on."  
  
"So, this is all you're fault?" Piper asked, then slapped Steph.  
  
"No, it's Phoebe's fault." KT sighed. "Were you not listening?"  
  
"Actually," Piper said and slapped KT. "I wasn't."  
  
Piper then left the room because.... she just did. So there.  
  
"Want to sell her stuff on ebay?" Steph asked.  
  
* *  
  
"And so KT," Prue summed up. "As has been demonstrated by the wonderful me, I have perfect eyesight."  
  
Piper walked into the kitchen then looked around.  
  
"Uh, Pruesie, who were ya talking to?" Piper asked. Pruesie. Ha. I've got to write that one down.  
  
"I was just showing KT here," Prue said and pointed to a bag of flour that had a smiley face drawn on it. "That my eyesight is like the best."  
  
Phoebe walked into the kitchen, smiling as evilly as the little idiot could, and carrying a black marker.  
  
"Prue, I kind of, but not really, hate to tell you this, but you've been talking to a bag of flour." Piper said. "Phoebe just put a smiley face on it."  
  
"Look here," Prue said. Piper and Phoebe did, but then realized it was just an expression.  
  
"I am not that little Stephanie demon-girl-idiot... thing." Prue continued. "I do not talk to inanimate objects."  
  
"But she doesn't talk to them anymore either." Phoebe said. "So, you are like her."  
  
Prue smacked Phoebe because...well, she's Phoebe. Then the toaster smacked Phoebe because we all know how the toaster feels about being ignored.  
  
At that precise moment,  
  
"Serendipity?" Piper inquired. Shut up, Piper.  
  
KT and Stephanie came rolling into the kitchen, mid-fight. They had one of Piper's slippers and were pretty close to ripping it in half.  
  
"I get the profits from this one!" Stephanie screeched.  
  
"No way!" KT yelled. "You already got the money from her one-of-a-kind pretty, pretty princess tea set!"  
  
"You know," Piper said. "That's funny, 'cause I think I've got one of those."  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I apologize for this chapter. And KT, please don't hurt me. 


	17. Stephanie Pays The Price For Heartbreak

The two demons stared at each other.  
  
KT curled her lip. "So."  
  
Stephanie gazed back. "So."  
  
A lull fell over the two idiums, who were staring each other off in the attic. Nobody else was there, except them.  
  
"This is pretty tense," Phoebe commented.  
  
Why you little- how did you get in here? Goddamn! I just went to all that trouble of saying nobody else was there then you have to randomly appear out of nowhere! Scum! Repent!  
  
Suddenly Phoebe popped out of existence. A disembodied voice which sounded startlingly like the little wench Phoebe screamed."Nooooo! This place is full of a million Prues and no pinnnnnnnnnk!"  
  
Another disembodied voice interrupted her. "Shut up you loser. Now you know why not to cross me! Khaa!"  
  
KT frowned. "Who the hell was that?"  
  
"Dunno," Steph replied, "but it sure sounded like you."  
  
The silence returned.  
  
KT and Stephanie returned to staring at each other. A singular bead of sweat fromed on Stephanie's brow as the look of utter contempt on KT's face hardened.  
  
"So Steph," KT said slowly and deliberately, increasing Stephanie's nervous state further. "I'm to understand you write stories sometimes. And put 'em on a little website called fanfiction.net. That true?"  
  
Stephanie gulped and nodded frantically.  
  
"And, Stephanie, would I be wrong in saying that you recently wrote a story called 'When She Was Evil'?" KT's eyes didn't leave Staephanie's.  
  
"Yes, that's right," Stephanie's voice cracked as she spoke. 'Show no fear,' she thought to herself urgently, 'show no fear...'  
  
Unfortunately for Stephanie, KT's psychic powers kicked in and she heard Stephanie's thoughts, so it became apparent to her that Stephanie was, indeed, terrified.  
  
"And in those particular stories, there was a chatacrter by the name of... Lierre?" KT's breathing was still steady, but there was a hint of emotion behind her voice.  
  
Stephanie nodded once more. KT took several steps towards her. She began pounding her hand with one fist in that threatening way people do to scare people. And by jove it was working.  
  
"And, uh, you didn't happen to... kill Lierre off, did you?" KT squinte- I mean, narrowed her eyes.  
  
"Uh, well, it was to further the-"  
  
"SILENCE!" KT screamed at the petrified loser. Then began to shout. "I don't care if it was to further the f*cking story! Lierre kicked ass! And Prue finally managed to get and keep a man! And you killed him! What kind of sick person are you?"  
  
"Please, KT, no!"  
  
And KT lunged for Stephanie, beating her to the ground in a fit of rage and desperation. She grabbed Stephanie's hair and used it to tie her to the ceiling.  
  
"You killed one of the best characters," KT sniffled, glaring at the swinging suspended Stephanie. "Why couldn't it have been Phoebe?"  
  
Stephanie didn't reply. She couldn't. Already the tears were welling up inside her, trying to burst out of her eyes but she blinked them back. What had she done? What had she done???  
  
"You killed Lierre. And now you must pay."   
  
A small shiver went through Stephanie. "W... what're you gonna do?"  
  
KT picked up six baseball bats.  
  
"The Charmed Ones and Leo and Cole are waiting outside, itching to play a party game. They're all blindfolded, and when I say the word, in they come and BAM! Bitch went dahn!" KT smiled evilly. Which was good, seeing as she's evil and all.  
  
"Please, KT, I'm begging you!" Stephanie said, then took on a different role. "If you don't untie me right now and let me down, I'll kill Prue in my next story*"  
  
KT's eyes glinted rage as she opened her mouth and screamed. "PINYATA!!!"  
  
The Charmed Ones and their male co-stars bounded into the room, grabbed a bat and descended on Stephanie, beating her well back to hell. Over the sound of blood rushing through her ears, Stephanie could vaguely hear KT screaming manically.  
  
"This is for Lierre! This is for Prue! This is for the readers of fanfiction who loved Lierre! BAM! Bitch went DAHN!"  
  
And something smacked Stephanie in the face so hard she instantly lost consciousness.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*Take that as a warning. If you kill Prue in your next story... just you wait and see what happens.  
  
Why did I enjoy writing this so much??? 


	18. Selling Rubber Duckie Bath Mats On Ebay

Um, that next story of mine where I mentioned Prue dying forever, uh, I'm not gonna write that I don't think. Heh heh.  
  
  
  
  
  
After a while, Stephanie opened her eyes and looked around. Where was she now? Uh-oh. It looked like hell. There was pink and lots of lace.  
  
"How did I get in Phoebe's bed...room?" Stephanie pondered aloud.  
  
"I don't know." Phoebe's pink woolly hat replied. "Doesn't make much sense, does it?"  
  
"Why, no." Stephanie said, lapsing back into her old bad habit of speaking to inanimate objects. "I certainly seem out of place."  
  
"Yes, well, a little pink and you'd fit right in." The hat continued. "I don't know where we would put you though. Phoebe has so many pink things."  
  
"I don't plan on staying." Stephanie told the hat. "Where is the door?"  
  
"No one is allowed to leave until they sign up for Pink Woolly Hat of The Month magazine." The hat said.  
  
Stephanie cursed Phoebe's semi-clever idea to get subscriptions for her magazine, then signed the paper.  
  
"That felt strangely like selling my soul." Stephanie said then left. Yes, she simply left. Where she went I don't know.  
  
In the kitchen meanwhile...  
  
The Halliwells and those two guys that always hang around were in the kitchen, just loafing around doing nothing as they usually do. My, with all those demons out there you would think they'd be doing something, huh? Yeah, well, they're...um...playing Go Fish.  
  
"Got any threes?" Leo inquired. Big word. Like asked, but better!  
  
"No threes." Prue told him.  
  
"Then what's that unusually loopy number? Kind of like half an eight?" Leo asked as he peered at Prue's cards.  
  
"That's a threeve." Prue said as if everybody should know that.  
  
"There's no such thing!" Leo exclaimed and threw down his cards.  
  
"Yes, there is, so I win!" Prue said and took all the cards. I don't think that's how you win Go Fish, but I don't want to make her angry.  
  
KT then randomly walked into the kitchen carrying Phoebe's laptop. She was very interested on something that was on the screen. She was on ebay again; selling more Halliwell merchandise.  
  
"Five hundred for an old antique lamp?" KT muttered.  
  
Stephanie appeared behind her and looked at the screen.  
  
"Check on the rubber duckie bath mat."  
  
KT clicked the mouse a few times, then both she and Stephanie let out small cries of joy.  
  
"Seven hundred! Amazing!"  
  
"Hey," Phoebe asked. "Don't we have a rubber duckie bath mat?"  
  
Not anymore, Phoebe. Not anymore. 


	19. Attack Of The Lumbering Idium Murderer (...

Attack Of The Lumbering Idium Murderer (LIN)  
  
A/N: This was written by KT, but posted by Steph; cause KT's a lazy ass. I, Steph, do not have a chapter to contribute, because I am also a lazy ass.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
KT and Stephanie were slouching around watching old crap on TV. Stephanie was eating candyfloss and KT was pouring milk all over the floors. They didn't notice Prue approach cautiously.  
  
"Uh, guys?" Prue asked tentatively.  
  
Suddenly, KT and Stephanie's vision went black and white.  
  
"What do you want?" Stephanie snapped and turned to face her. Then she screamed.   
  
This got KT's attention and she too glanced up at Prue. And also began to scream.  
  
"What ARE you?" KT yelled, her voice clearly conveying her fear. "You're not Prue!"  
  
The woman looked at them both as if they were retards. "Uh, duh! Prue's dead. I'm Paige!"  
  
Stephanie and KT glanced at each other and both jumped out the window. BAM! Phoebe walked in and looked at Prue. "What's eating them?" she asked.  
  
"I dunno," Prue replied, "They saw me and started screaming! I'm actually pretty hurt. What're you smirking at?" she backhanded Phoebe quickly.  
  
"Just that, oh, I've been practising my powers - I can now project my prems onto other people!"  
  
"Prems?" Prue glared disdainfully and began to kick Phoebe. "So what did they see? I mean, they were looking at me but if they were having a premonition at the same time then..."  
  
"Well, this is just a guess, but maybe they saw the future where you've died and have been replaced by our baby sister we never knew we had," she paused for effect, "until now."  
  
"Shut up, Phoebe."  
  
*  
  
Outside, KT and Stephanie were picking themselves up off the young warlock they'd landed on.  
  
"How rude," he commented and stared at them. "Were you two just... in the f*ck off pink manor?"  
  
KT frowned. "Manor?" she echoed, "Man-shun. It's a mansion. F*ck off pink manor sounds stoopid!"  
  
Stephanie nodded in agreement. Then she did a little jig for no real reason. She stared off into the distance for a long long time.   
  
"Oookay," KT said and turned to the warlock. "So who are you, bitch?"  
  
He slapped her. "I'm Olly."  
  
"Nice name..." KT commented. "And what are you doing here?"  
  
Olly proceeded to inform KT that he was spying on the Charmed Ones. And had been for several years- eh, months-eh, days. He had the hugest crush on Piper.  
  
"You do know she's married, right?" KT asked sceptically. "And she's gonna have a bab-" She was silenced by the Queen herself leaning out the window and clamping a hand over KT's mouth.  
  
"Spoiler alert," Piper growled, "Shut up."  
  
With a strange look at Olly, Piper let go of KT and disappeared back through the window. Olly gaped.  
  
"Wowo!" he exclaimed, "She just touched you!"  
  
KT's face scrunched up. "Ew, I know. I'll never be clean." She glanced at Steph who was still staring into space. "So you want to meet her?"  
  
"Do I?" Olly repeated enthusiastically.  
  
"That's what I asked..." KT said, her tone of voice clearly indicating she thought Olly was strange. Or she was thinking about other things. Like 'lyssie' and how ew she was. "So do you? Do you wanna meet Piper-"  
  
"Get out of the milk!" Stephanie suddenly screamed.  
  
KT and Olly yelled in fear and jumped into the air. Stephanie ran around in circles screeching and flapping her arms. Upon realising there was no milk to get out of, KT turned to the flailing   
Steph and slapped her. She fell over.  
  
"BAM!" KT said.   
  
"Bitch went dahn!" Olly finished.   
  
Astonished, the two demon buddies turned to stare at Olly. "What did you just say?" Stephanie asked, eyeing him curiously.  
  
"Well I HAVE been watching you all for years-months-days. I picked up on the weird ways you two talk. You munky lubbers."  
  
"I see..." KT mused.  
  
"It's more than I do!" Prue yelled from inside. Then Astral Prue was beside them. KT and   
Stephanie immediately fell to their knees at her feet. Olly looked on, confused.  
  
Stephanie kicked him from her place on the grass. "Bow you p'idium!"  
  
"Why?" he queried. Big mistake.  
  
"She's God, doofus!" KT replied before yelping as Astral Prue employed her wrath.  
  
"Repent!" Astral Prue roared at Olly, and TK'd him into the next door's skylight. Unfortunatly   
for Olly, the next door neighbours included none other than a certain woman who was very rounded at the edges. She wore an apron round the clock, and carried with her a rolling pin, dubbed "The Rolling Pin of Death" which she used to bludgeon nasty little people who bad mouthed her daughter. And she'd been hearing rumours Olly was one of those nasty little people. She was the original Lumbering Idium Murderer, or LIN as she was called by all who feared her.  
  
All they heard for a long time were screams of agony coming from next door. And someone singing "Light and love!" as they beat someone to death.  
  
AP (Astral Prue) disappeared and KT and Stephanie got up.  
  
"KT?" Steph said.  
  
"Steph," KT replied.   
  
"Have you noticed..." Stephanie began. "Have you noticed that we came here months ago with the intention of destroying the Charmed Ones forever, and now we kinda live with them?"  
  
KT looked away. "Don't make me sick," she said halfheartedly. She knew it was true.  
  
"KT-" Steph pleaded. "We gotta do something about it."  
  
"You're right!" KT shouted, loud enough so that the Halliwells n Co could hear her. "Those dratted witches are way too crap and annoying. They're goin dahn! Prue, Piper and that pipsqueak Phoebe are all gonna-"  
  
Suddenly KT was hit on the head by a rolling pin which had been thrown. Stephanie glanced fearfully at where it had come from to see a round woman with an apron shaking her fist at them angrily. It was LIN.  
  
"I can hear you bad-mouthing my daughter," she screamed, and began to lumber her way towards them.  
  
Eyes wide, Stephanie grabbed KT and threw her back into the f*ck off pink mansion. Through a different, unbroken window. Well, it was broken now.   
  
The woman arrived at the foot of the window and picked up her Rolling Pin of Death. "You haven't lost me yet!" she shrieked and began to climb in.  
  
"Oooh we're in trouble," Stephanie said as her mind raced for something to do to protect them against the Lumbering Idium Murderer. Against LIN.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, Lumbering Idium Murder = LIM, not LIN. KT is just really stupid. And, as always, her views and opinions are soley hers. Just thought I should throw that out there. 


	20. Hollygins, Shannenigans, and a Scuffle

Stephanie quickly grabbed a fire hose.  
  
"Attack!" She screamed at the hose and threw it at LIN/LIM.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Ooooooh yeah!" Stephanie exclaimed. "The Shining is just a movie! Of course fire hoses don't - ahhhhhhhhhhh!"  
  
Stephanie noticed the LIN/LIM approaching and dashed under the couch. How she fit under said couch is a mystery to us all.  
  
KT meanwhile stood frozen in fear.  
  
"Get out of my fear!" Prue yelled and slapped KT.  
  
KT quickly got out of the fear and stood frozen in silence. Prue was about to say something about her silence, but KT slapped her. Everyone stood quietly. Stephanie poked her head out from underneath the couch.  
  
"She slapped Proo!" Phoebe screamed and began running in circles.  
  
Stephanie jumped into Piper's arms and shrieked. "HOLLYGINS!"  
  
Prue began walking toward KT slowly. KT kept inching away from Prue, not sure how the eldest Halliwell would take the slapping. Prue managed to get KT in the kitchen.  
  
Beating noises were then heard from the kitchen. LIN/LIM raised the... RPoD and went into the kitchen. After a few moments of scuffle sounds (who came up with the word scuffle? I mean, just say it. Scuffle. Scuffle. Fight isn't good enough? Scuffle. Scuffle) there was a shriek and the sound of breaking glass. Then a booming SMACK!  
  
"It wasn't me! I didn't jump through any windows today!" Stephanie yelled.  
  
"Stop with the shannenigans!" Piper exclaimed.  
  
Piper dropped her. Well, it wasn't the first time Stephanie had been dropped on her head.  
  
KT then stumbled from the kitchen and collapsed. Stephanie and Piper took their time walking over to her to check on her. There were rolling pin marks all over her and hand imprints all over her face.  
  
"She was beat good." Piper said. "Real good."  
  
Prue then came from the kitchen and kicked KT a good one.  
  
"What happened?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"I was beating her good." Prue said. "Real good; then all of a sudden LIM/LIN comes... lumbering into the kitchen and starts hitting the little raj with the RPoD. After a bit, her ears perked up, she mumbled something about badmouthing, then jumped out the window and ran off."  
  
"It was awful." KT sobbed and sat up.  
  
It was then everyone noticed the imprint of the rolling pin and a caption: Rolling Pin of Death, 4,00 People Beaten Daily.  
  
Everyone then had a good laugh. At KT's expense. Maybe it was because no one liked her. Maybe it was because Phoebe was nowhere to be found. Maybe it was because the author didn't know any other way to end this chapter. I guess we'll never know. Or will we? ...No. 


	21. Don't you think Steph roolez?

A/N: To Le Steph: I am sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so so so so so sooooooo sorry I lubb you so much I lubb you hella! You are the Queem, you hear me? The QUEEM!!!! The best person in the entire world! Wowo, anyone know Stephanie? She ROCKS!  
A/N: SO before you read this, remember how much I lubb you. Which is a lot. More than I lubb Pru... more than I lubb Pru... hold on, *regains composure* More than I lubb Pru... nah can't say it. Okay. More than I lubb Pipe... more than I lubb Pipe... dammit! More than I lubb Paige and Feebee... and Leo and Cole... put together!  
  
  
  
Chapter 21: The One Where KT Writes a Chapter She will get smashed for.  
  
  
After KT had finally gotten hella pissed off that it'd been a week since she'd got beaten good, real good, by Prue and the LIN/LIM and nobody had healed her, she started whining annoyingly.  
  
Since Leo was 'out of town' with Cole (good, saves me having to write about them), Paige got a shifty look in her eye. "Hey how about I practise my healing powers on le KT?" She knelt down by broken KT's side and raised her hands.  
  
"Suddenly I feel much better!" le KT cried, springing to her feet... shattering her shins which couldn't take her weight they were so buggered after Prue's beating. "... Owie." She fell over and Paige once again advanced. Le KT's eyes paiged (got really wide). "PLEH!" she cried.  
  
X-Moonchik entered and stared at KT. "Pleh?" she said stoopidly, before being TK-Orbed out of the room by le Paige.   
  
Prue walked in carrying a glass of milk and held it over Paige's head with a huge smirk on her face.   
  
Then le Stephums entered and stared at Prue. "You gonna drink that?" she asked hungrily, staring at the glass of milk. "Mmm le milk," she muttered, and quickly wiped the drool off her chin. Prue watched Steph with a look of disgust on her boot-iful face. Steph looked back, then suddenly lurched forwards and made a grab for the milk.  
  
KT pulled her legs up to her chin and blinked out, reappearing several feet away. "I keep forgetting I can do that..." she whispered to herself.  
  
Prue pulled the glass of milk out of Steph's grasp... Steph, the poor demon, who then stumbled, fell, and landed on top of Paige (yes - Paige!) while screaming in absolute horror. Well I can understand her... although I think on some sick level she'd enjoy it... I hope Steph doesn't read this... who am I kidding? We are just gonna start doing really mean things to each other chapter after chapter... but back to the story.  
  
So there were Paige and H'Pets... I mean, Steph, sitting on the floor like a small hoard of lesbiums, and Prue was 'towering' (well as much as you can tower, being 5'3/4) over them with a single glass of milk in her hands. She was wondering who to pour it on and say her famous line... le KT was hoping she wouldn't cos she didn't think she could bring herself to leap into the air, but hey, if it happened it happened.  
  
"Who is crapper for me to pour my milk on?" Prudencia pondered aloud. She looked from Paige to Steph then to Paige to Steph and back to buggy- I mean, Paige again. "Dammit, they both suck so much!"  
  
"I liek suckers..." Paige uttered. "Lee-ek. Not like. Liek. Say it." *Was that a subliminal message from the author kt?*  
  
KT slapped her forehead. "Proo, Steph is sitting on top of Paige, and looks like she likes it. Likes it a lot. Likes it a lot good. Likes it a lot real good. So just pour it on both of them!"  
  
A lightbulb appeared appeared over Prue's head.  
  
Leo orbed in, looking especially nekkid and covering his orbs with a whip (didn't do the job really well now Leo, did it?) and spluttered "N... n... new pow..er?" before crying "I'm coming Cole... in more than one sense of the word!" and orbed out.  
  
"Ookay," Prue mused, then pulled the lightbulb off her head and threw it at Piper (hey where'd she come from?). "Anyhoo, I have an idea. I'm gonna pour it on you both!"  
  
"Hold me Paige!" Stephanie cried in horror, clinging onto the skeleton she was sitting on. "I love yoooouuuuuu..."  
  
She was drowned out by a vast amount of milk (a lot more than would ever fit in that tiny glass) being tipped onto her head. It was disgusting... and old!   
  
Steph felt her body go rigid as the cold slimy milk slithered down her back, recreating what it must feel like to have Freebee touching you all over... neughy.  
  
Then came the moment we (as in me and Steph... and maybe Paige) were all waiting for.  
  
Prue got a hella serious look on her face, then jumped into the air early. She didn't hover, and landed heavily on... you guessed it KT.   
  
"Well, I'd rather it was Prue than Steph... or Paige... or is it Steph AND Paige nowadays?"  
  
She received death glares from both concerned ladies. *I lubb you steph*  
  
Prue got up, blew her bangs out of her face... if she had bangs at the time... and yelled "GET OUT OF THE PAIGE!"  
  
Stephanie leapt into the air away from Paige.   
  
Prue smiled and winked at KT, who nodded in thanks. Then le Prue musted up her strength and screamed "GET OUT OF THE MILK!"  
  
Everybody jumped in the air and hovered. Well, except le Steph and le Paige who were 'indisposed' being covered in milk, and it was kinda impossible to get out of. Ah well.  
  
Then some stuff happened, and Steph made up with KT and they were best demon buddies again, never to hold a grudge or argue ever again. Ever.  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
  
Le Steph: You know, I didn't put in any 'lyssie' lubbing, cos that's just plain out of order. OUT OF ORDER. As in don't go there. You hear me?  
  
Light and Lubb,  
  
le KT  
  
http://server4.ikonboard.com/astralp/ikonboard.cgi  
  
^^^ copy and paste... AND GO! 


	22. Milked and Paiged

A/N: *slaps kt*  
  
  
  
  
  
Stephanie showered immediately after that tragic event. She came out of the bathroom in a huff, smashing Paige with the bathroom door. And in like cartoons, Paige was really flat and slowly wafted to the floor. Then, unlike in cartoons, Stephanie set her aflame.  
  
Then Steph shimmered to the kitchen, because honestly she was too lazy to walk and I, le author, didn't feel like describing her walking because that's just so... yeah. Anyway.  
  
Once in the kitchen, Steph grabbed a carton of milk and sat on the counter, then she (gasp!) sprinkled the milk everywhere so that the entire floor was covered in milkiness.  
  
"Oh no!" Steph then cried out. "Bane is nekkid! In the kitchen!"  
  
Everyone in the house, except for flaming Paige, rushed into the kitchen. Stephanie laughed as they all tumbled to the floor and splatted into the milk.  
  
"How does it feel to be milked?" Stephanie exclaimed then snapped her fingers. BAM! Paige's ashes sprinkled over everyone but Steph. "And Paiged??"  
  
"Why, it's no fun at all!" KT squealed.  
  
"...Actually, I quite like it." Phoebe mused and stroked some of Paige's ashes. "Like it a lot."  
  
Everyone stared at her. Paige's eyes, like in cartoons where some character gets all burned and turned to ashes and all that's left is their blinking eyes, yeah, that's Paige. And some ashes. Anyway, Paige's eyes stared. Everyone stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared. And stared.  
  
"Um... get out of the milk?" Prue offered lamely. I mean, really, what can you say after someone says something liek that? Not much really.  
  
"Okay." Everyone agreed and slowly got up.  
  
Piper picked up Paige's eyes and pocketed them, then everyone slowly left the kitchen.  
  
"Oooooo! Ash angel!" Phoebe exclaimed then began rolling around in Paige's ashes.  
  
How degrading.  
  
Something kt should've gotten after the last chapter. But I guess having milk and some of Paige's ashes stuck to you is bad too. 


End file.
